What better time to reflect on 2020—and the handful of lovely things it managed to deliver—than during the week between Christmas and New Year's?
Happy romjul, everyone! That’s right, it’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s, which means it’s a great time to reflect on the year we’ve had. 2020 has been….a lot. But there were bright spots—like the things we read, watched, listened to, and delighted in. Some things made us laugh, others helped us reflect, learn, and think, and others were great simply for passing the time gently. We get into all of it here!
This episode was produced by Rachel and Sally and edited by Lucas Nguyen. Our logo was designed by Amber Seger (@rocketorca). Our theme music is by Tiny Music. MJ Brodie transcribed this episode. Follow us on Twitter @OhILikeThatPod.
Things we talked about
Rachel: Welcome to Oh I Like That, a podcast about things we like and occasionally things we don't. I'm Rachel Wilkerson Miller.
Sally: And I'm Sally Tamarkin.
Rachel: Good morning, Sally.
Sally: Hey Rachel.
Rachel: How's it going? What's the vibe?
Sally: Well, the vibe is like, post-Christmas pre-New Year's.
Rachel: Mm-hmm. It's a very strange limbo week.
Sally: Yeah. It's a very strange, specific time of year.
Rachel: So a few years ago -- 2015 to be exact, which is not a few years ago at this point -- I read an article on The Cut about romjul, which The Cut describes as a Norwegian concept. It's their word for that week between Christmas and New Year, so it's kind of like the 'you're all alone in the office this week' vibe where a lot of people aren't around, there's a lot of leftovers. It's this weird sort of strange time, especially in New York. So I was feeling a little bummed last night that we're going to not really experience the full romjul this year, which I always look forward to because I never go anywhere for Christmas. And I'm almost always working this week and would normally be working in the office this week. And so I felt like it was the reward for staying in New York, that you get to have a week of riding the subway with nobody on it. And it's that feeling of like, there's only a couple of us so like let's all eat lunch together, or, you know, we're going to duck out for a little while in the afternoon to go do something a little bit different. I don't know. It's a very insignificant loss given everything that's happened in 2020, but I am like, aw man, romjul, miss you this year.
Sally: Yeah. You know, I didn't even know romjul was a thing. You told me that right before we started recording. And yet here I am mourning the loss of romjul.
Rachel: Because it's one of the things we all get. We've all experienced it, so.
Sally: Yeah, it's sad not to have the special week, which, I've done different things in different jobs. Sometimes I worked during the romjul week and I'm like, man, this is the best choice I've ever made, why would you ever take this off? You know, you get so much more done, there's no one around. And then other times I've taken it off and been like, man, what kind of chump is working this week?
Rachel: [Laughs] Right.
Sally: And I think that what that says about romjul is that there's kind of no wrong way to experience it -- except that this year it does feel a little weird. Definitely, I realized how much I was looking forward to Christmas when I woke up on December 26th and was like, oh man, we have to wait 364 days to do that again. [Laughs] It's a real buzzkill.
Rachel: Yeah, I think the holiday blues are going to be pretty hard hitting this year.
Sally: Yeah. Yeah, pretty blue. One thing I want to just add about this period is that I was watching a conversation about romjul evolve on Twitter. Did you notice this at all?
Rachel: No, I didn't see it.
Sally: It was just basically someone not really in my orbit, but in an orbit like three orbits away, said something about, I can't even remember if their opinion was that this week is awesome or this week is terrible, but whatever it was it sparked a whole bunch of quote tweets and replies with people weighing in. And I was just thinking, I mean, look, I love to have an opinion, Rachel, as you know, but it just made me think, I think this conversation is emblematic of the very fact that romjul is a fraught time this year. Like, we're spending it arguing about whether or not it's great or terrible because what else are we going to do with ourselves right now?
Rachel: Exactly. You know, arguing about an unimportant thing feels like a pretty decent romjul activity, so I am glad everyone, whether they realize it or not, is honoring the spirit of this week. However, I think there are maybe better ways to spend your week.
Sally: I think that's an amazing segue to our first segment where we're just going to do kind of like a year in review. We're going to do our top five media experiences, each of us, of 2020. Here's how I was thinking about this segment, Rachel, and you can tell me how you were thinking about it. Basically these are five kind of transcendent experiences that stuck out among all of our other media experiences. And there are things that may have come out or occurred or been released in 2020, but they also might not be, it's more that we consumed these things in 2020.
Rachel: Yes, exactly. After you said the word transcendent, that's how I started thinking about it too, because I was thinking kind of just like the best things that I consumed, but that's slightly different. So yeah. These are the ones that sort of defined... or when we look back on this year and the things we consumed, how we spent our time, I'm kind of thinking about them.
Sally: Totally. And my other bullet point for how I was thinking of these things is, I thought back to, what was I totally eager to talk about with people and that I couldn't stop thinking about? And that's what my list is.
Rachel: I love that. Okay. So I'm going to kick us off with sort of a late entry, and that is How To with John Wilson on HBO Max. Have you seen this, Sally?
Sally: Never seen it. Never heard of it. Totally excited to learn everything about it right now.
Rachel: Okay. I'm going to tread very lightly because I do think it's one of those shows that's sort of best seen without knowing a lot about it, and it's also kind of hard to describe. So it is a little show, it's very gentle. John Wilson is the filmmaker, but he is mostly behind the camera. So it kind of consists of him taking a camera around predominantly New York City. And each episode is him trying to answer a question. So the first episode is small talk, and so it's just him going around, observing how humans make small talk, making small talk himself. But as each episode progresses, it kind of goes to a bigger truth or something more poignant. But the thing about it, he's just so gentle and it's all very earnest and wholesome in a way that is just very soothing and very appreciated. It's truly a balm kind of a show, you'll just feel so calm watching it. And the real joy of it comes in the fact that he is a master of pairing the visuals he's showing with whatever he's saying. So one of the ways I've been describing it to people is, it feels like reading a 2014 perfect Buzzfeed post, where you've got a couple lines of copy and then the perfect gif to go with it, like those old school Buzzfeed posts that went mega viral because they were just so fun to read. That's kind of how it feels to watch it when he says something and then he follows it up with this visual that's so expertly chosen and so unexpected that it's just delightful. So there's a real magic to it, and he's so good at this. You'll also learn a lot, like one of the episodes is called scaffolding and I learned a bunch about New York City scaffolding that I didn't know. And he has another one about furniture covers, the plastic covers that people put on furniture, and he goes to a place where they make those in New York City, they make custom ones, and it's totally fascinating. And it also just ends up being a show in a lot of ways that is about New York City, and so watching that now is like, oh man, I miss this New York. I miss just a crowded subway station or just... the weirdness of New York in all its glory is really captured in this. So it's a beautiful unintentional tribute to New York. And just a very funny, clever, just a nice show.
Sally: That sounds great. The words, like you said gentle and balm, and that's exactly what I want right now.
Rachel: I think you'll really like it. I think it's only 30 minutes long and there's six episodes and I wish there were more, it's a show I'd actually watch again because it's just so pleasant.
Sally: Nice. Okay. I'm definitely going to get into it. I've never even heard of it, but I'm very excited.
Rachel: Great.
Sally: I will go with my first entry, which is also a TV show -- or it's a four-part documentary series called The Reagans. Did you watch that, Rachel?
Rachel: I didn't.
Sally: Okay. So this is on Showtime, which I now... own? No, I subscribed to it because of one of the NXIVM documentaries. The NXIVM family of products is the reason I subscribe to several different podcast networks and TV channels, it turns out.
Rachel: I got you [laughs]
Sally: But anyway, so this is a four-part documentary about Ronald and Nancy Reagan, and it really just dives very deep into kind of how he became a politician, how he formed his beliefs that his policy was based on, how he kind of became a tool of the right -- I mean, willingly became a tool -- how influential Nancy Reagan was in his decision-making as Commander in Chief. And it really, really goes in on how important anti-black racism and an absolute loathing of the poor and a commitment to criminalization of the poor and cutting social programs are so important to his legacy. And they interview a bunch of different scholars, which you note when you watch that the scholars are all black and people of color.
Rachel: That's cool.
Sally: Which is cool. And also notable in that it doesn't... you notice it because it's not always the case. They also interview a bunch of people in his Cabinet and some members of the press and also Nancy Reagan had this astrologer. Do you know about this?
Rachel: Okay. I was going to, yeah, I was going to be like, do they talk about the astrology? But then I was like, that's the only thing I know about the Reagans in some ways, and I didn't want to say that, but now you know.
Sally: Yeah. She had an astrologer and she was deeply committed to taking the astrologer's advice about when big meetings should be held and when he should do certain announcements. Apparently at some point in his presidency, he stopped having press conferences more than like every other month, because the astrologer was making a recommendation about timing that he was following. The other thing.... sSo the big takeaway is that Reagan gets remembered I think even by people who are Democrats, older Democrats, boomer types, as someone who was a model of an American President, and sure, maybe we didn't agree with all of his policies, but at least he... I don't even know what it is. At least he's an All-American whatever. I don't know.
Rachel: I don't know. Whenever I hear that mythologizing happening as, you know, "Trump's behavior, this isn't the party of Reagan." I'm just like, isn't it though? He was just an actor who got into politics and was kind of a piece of shit at the end of the day.
Sally: Yeah.
Rachel: So I find it really strange the way that people on the right and left are just like, "Oh, but Reagan."
Sally: "Reagan." I know, I know. Especially because this documentary really shows you how he kind of... I don't know if you could say he invented dog whistle politics, but he most certainly used it very expertly. And it shows you the extent of his absolutely heartless neglect of people who were dying of AIDS and also how much he lied and also that his slogan was 'Make America Great Again'.
Rachel: Huh.
Sally: Yeah. So it's really good. And the scholars really, really break it down and sort of explain what Reagan was doing and how that kind of conflicts with the mythologizing around him. And also they interview people who were in the White House Press Corps when he was President about the way he treated the press and the way he showed up as a President attracting with the press. It's absolutely fascinating. I was totally riveted. And even though it was... first of all, there was a bunch of stuff I didn't know, but there was also stuff I knew but that was contextualized in a much different way. I just thought it was awesome. Also, his son, Ron Reagan Jr., is in it a lot. And this dude has a lot to say about his parents.
Rachel: Oh.
Sally: And the dude has been to a lot of therapy and he has some things to say about Ronald Reagan not just as a father, but as a politician and a President and as someone who sort of... it's so interesting because he describes how his father's attitude of not wanting anything to be wrong and wanting everything to be just fine kind of contributed to, for example, how we reacted to the AIDS crisis. Anyway, give Ron Reagan Jr. some sort of recognition for being valedictorian of therapy.
Rachel: Nice [Laughs].
Sally: Anyway, so that's The Reagans, it's on Showtime and I highly recommend getting the Showtime trial or whatever to watch it if you don't already subscribe.
Rachel: Well, that sounds great. I'm actually right in the middle of a Showtime free seven day trial right now, because we wanted to watch Hustlers on Christmas Eve and that was the only way to do it, so maybe I'll let it go for the first month and pay for it and watch The Reagans.
Sally: Hell yeah.
Rachel: Okay. So next up on my list is something I read. I want to be honest with everyone and say I didn't have a lot of things that I read to put on the list this year, I think in part because I read so much news and that's kind of what was available to read this year. I tag everything in Pocket after I read it, if it's incredible I tag it like best of the year so that I can find it easily at the end of the year and make a list. It wasn't totally short this year, but it was interesting how many of the things on my list came from January and then they kind of changed, the tone of them.
Sally: Totally.
Rachel: But this piece actually came out this summer. It's called My Mustache, My Self by Wesley Morris. And it was in the New York Times magazine. And it came out of nowhere because none of us knew it was coming, and so it was just this really, really wonderful surprise. Wesley Morris is a black writer for the Times, he is one of the hosts of Still Processing which is a really good podcast. And this is a piece that is, it's one of those pieces that I love that starts out about one thing, but blooms into this full statement of self. So it starts off with him talking about the mustache that he's grown this year in quarantine. And then it goes into the history of the mustache on black men specifically, and it's sort of talking about the civil rights mustache. And then, I don't want to spoil too much because it really is worth reading and getting there on your own, but the sort of third act of this is what his mustache tells him about his own relationship to blackness. And it's just one of those beautiful pieces where the writer just wrote every word, you know, every single bit of it is so well done. And there are so many sentences where you're just like, I just want to sit and read this again and again, so one of my favorites is "The civil rights mustache was strategically tolerant. It didn't advocate burning anything down. It ran for office — and sometimes it won." Just the way he talks about race, civil rights, his own blackness, is just, it's so good. The photos are beautiful. He looks great. He's in this wonderful pink turtleneck with a pink background. It just is such a wonderful piece that I loved so much and really recommend everyone read.
Sally: It's a wonderful piece. And like you said, totally goes on this journey, and every part of the journey is incredibly done. And I remember when I saw this on your list, the thing I remembered most was the photo of him at the top where he's looking directly at the camera and he looks so vulnerable, and there's so much vulnerability in this piece. I don't know. It's just so good. I mean, vulnerability in the way you want, like anyone writing anything about themselves to be. It's just a beautiful piece of writing.
Rachel: Yeah, it's so well done.
Sally: I also didn't do a ton of reading this year, but I did play a video game.
Rachel: [Laughs]
Sally: How's that for a pivot?
Rachel: That's really good [laughs]
Sally: I did play a video game that has a huge amount of reading in it, and after I played this game, I would feel like I had read for a while. So I thought it should come after your reading recommendation.
Rachel: That makes total sense.
Sally: Okay. So this game is called Disco Elysium and it actually came out in 2019. I played it in 2020. So this is a video game where you play a character who wakes up with a wicked hangover and also amnesia and cannot remember anything about himself or where he is or why he's there. You slowly start to gather clues about who you are and why you're doing what you're doing. And it turns out that you are a detective, a cop, and you are solving a murder mystery.
Rachel: Okay.
Sally: And it's really hard to describe this game because it's extremely weird. But basically as you go through the game and move through the world and talk to people, various thoughts occur to you -- thoughts about the world, thoughts about the way people interact with each other, thoughts about yourself. And you can choose to integrate those thoughts into your character or discard them. And so you can be someone who embraces socialism, you can be someone who embraces neoliberalism, you can be someone who's kind of a nihilist, and all of those decisions you make influence your options and choices in the game. It takes place in a fictional European city that has seen kind of a failed revolution. It's a very deep exploration of workers and workers' rights and what rights workers deserve and who gets to have hope for the future, and who deserves to call a city their home, and who is a threat to that home. I mean, it also interrogates what it means to be a cop, as someone whose responsibility is perpetuating the social order. You can replay it a ton of times. There's an absolute, like all you do in this game is you walk around, you talk to people and you read text on the screen. So if you're someone who, this sounds kind of interesting, but you're not into video games, you can play this. Because truly, all you're doing is pointing and clicking. You can get it on your PC, it is either out on PS4 and Xbox or will be soon, I can't remember. And, you know, I don't often recommend media where you play a cop [laughs] but the exploration of what it means to be a cop, I think is, and people have talked about this online, and I know some people don't agree with this, but I think kind of is worth the price of admission. And the fact that it takes place in a totally fictitious universe and totally fictitious country I think also helps. But truly, I do think that there's a real examination of policing and criminalization and poverty and... I don't know, just sort of every social and political situation and thought you can imagine has been integrated into this game for you as a player to consider. And I just think it's astounding. I feel like a little bit of a ridiculous booster for this game, but I just think it's probably in the top five media experiences I've ever had.
Rachel: Well it sounds great.
Sally: Yeah. So it's Disco Elysium, and we'll link to it and everything we mention here in the show notes.
Rachel: So the next thing on my list is going to take us back to January 2020, which is a lifetime ago.
Sally: It really is.
Rachel: And that is Cheer on Netflix, which I was really surprised to realize was 2020, because it feels like it must have been, like, November of 2019. It just feels so long ago. I think a lot of people probably watched this at the time, but if you didn't, it is I believe a six part series? Might be eight parts. But it's on Netflix, it follows a really, really great competitive cheerleading team at a school in Texas, and they tend to win Nationals or come in second every year. So it follows their journey to the national competition over the course of the season. Caroline Moss recommended this to me. I don't need a lot of pushing to watch something about cheerleading, I think it's a great sport, I love watching stuff like this. But this show is really excellently done and very quickly reveals itself to be a show about trauma, ultimately, like the physical trauma of being a cheerleader and the injuries that these kids sustain and the risks that they take and the things that they do to their bodies for something they love, but also, you know, the trauma in their lives that has gotten them to this point where cheerleading is truly a lifeline for them and sort of the ways they put their lives on the line or their health on the line or their bodies on the line because cheerleading is what they have and what they need to get out of it. And so it's just a really sort of devastating portrait of people who really are at high risk and who need this as an outlet and as a lifeline, but it's also just fun and moving and funny and interesting and sort of nerve-wracking because by the end it's like, are they going to win and are they going to be safe? You know, people get injured all the time, like really, really gruesome injuries in cheerleading. And it was so gripping, truly binged it and recommended it to everyone immediately because I just wanted to talk about it more. It was just such an all-in media experience that I really, really enjoyed. I do just want to mention for anyone who hasn't seen the show, since it aired one of the cast members, Jerry Harris, has been arrested and charged and pleaded not guilty to several felony charges, all of which involve sexual abuse and exploitation of teenagers when Jerry was over the age of 18. I'm going to link to the New York Times article about it in the show notes, because I don't really want to get into the details on the podcast and put anything triggering in this episode. But if you're thinking about watching it and this gives you pause, I would say read this article with the note that it is, you know, pretty dark stuff. And that might change how you feel about this show and that's totally reasonable.
Sally: Cool. Okay. That's a good recommendation though. I think it's the last thing I remember everyone talking about and being excited about before the pandemic.
Rachel: Yeah.
Sally: I can't remember a thing that everyone was talking about except for coronavirus starting like a month after it came out or something like that. So a nice thing from the before times.
Rachel: Yeah, agree.
Sally: Okay. So my next thing is a podcast called California Love, it is hosted by a writer at the New York Times named Walter Thompson-Hernández. It's on the LAist network of podcasts -- LAist podcast network, I don't know why I said network of podcasts. So Walter Thompson-Hernández grew up in Los Angeles and each episode, it's kind of a mix of reporting and autobiography and memoir. He kind of takes us through the Los Angeles he grew up in and just talks about what it means to have a really, really strong sense of place and of hometown when that place and that hometown is Los Angeles. It's really beautiful, the sound design is amazing, Walter Thompson-Hernández is absolutely magnetic and the stories he tells are amazing. There's an episode where he interviews his mom that's just beautiful. I feel really strongly about my hometown, and so I feel like I really relate when other people -- when I saw that this is someone who feels so strongly about thinking about his hometown that he made a podcast, I was like, okay, that's going to be for me. And I can't recommend it enough. I think it's eight or nine episodes, and it's kind of a love letter to Los Angeles, kind of a tour of Los Angeles. It's very difficult to really sum up exactly what it's like, but it's a beautiful show and If you didn't catch it this year, I definitely recommend getting into it. Each episode is, I think, between 40 minutes and an hour, 30 minutes and an hour. And it's just great. I just can't say enough great things about it.
Rachel: Is it like a contained series with eight parts, or is it ongoing?
Sally: It's a contained series with eight or nine parts. My greatest wish and hope is that it keeps going, but I get the impression that he has a lot of other projects and is writing books and reporting on things. He talks a lot about what his relationship is like with his mom who moved from Mexico and he explores his identity as someone with a black father and a Mexican mother, and it's just like, there's just a lot of really beautiful, interesting things going on.
Rachel: That sounds great. I'm very much sold. I'm going to check it out.
Sally: Yeah, get into it and please report back.
Rachel: I will. Okay. Well, my next two recs, I think are... I'm looking at your two final ones, I'm looking at mine and I'm just like, wow, this is how I used media this year. Okay. So my next rec is reality TV as a genre because it is difficult for me to just pick one show. And because when I do think about my 2020 and being indoors at home all the time, I really do think of the reality shows that my girlfriend and I consumed that have really helped and have brightened our days and have been... I don't want to say a joy, but have just been really helpful in terms of escapist media. So the first one, when I think of the early days of quarantine is Drag Race, which I had never seen before this year, or maybe I had seen like, three episodes of two All-Stars ago and I was like, I don't really, this is fun, but whatever, you know, I just didn't stick with it. But we started watching season 12 from the beginning. It was a great season. These queens were so talented, so fun, so funny and just brought so much. And we really looked forward to Friday nights watching it. It was really something that helped a ton. And I wrote an essay about this for Vice that I can link to, but there was just something about this colorful, beautiful, funny world, because I think that's the other thing that I didn't really realize going into it is that these aren't just really talented makeup artists who can create a cool look, it's that they have to be true entertainers in every sense. And so it's just a really funny show because they're all really funny and really just joyful and exuberant in a way that was so helpful and remains helpful. And what I loved about it is that after watching that I was like, oh, now I understand how this works and so I can watch old seasons and I can start following them on Instagram and watching their YouTube channel. And so it has just opened up this whole other world of entertainment that has been such a wonderful part of 2020 for us. So that's a big one. And then Real Housewives of Potomac, which I think I've talked about with you before, maybe not on the show, maybe elsewhere, but another one that I got so into that I always recommend to people. And we watched a bunch of different Real Housewives this year, but Potomac is the one I always say, start with season two, then go back and watch season one. So that was really great to get into. I think it really scratched the itch for gossip this year and for low stakes, other people's problems that we've really all been missing this year. So having that was great, and again, it opens up this whole universe, a new fandom, new things to follow and get into. So that was great. And then where would we be without Selling Sunset?
Sally: Literally nowhere.
Rachel: I know, I think personally I'm thrilled that for the two of us Selling Sunset is what led to my favorite group chat of 2020, which was a bunch of people who loosely knew each other united in a group thread about Selling Sunset that now has become so many other things and has been a delight and a joy this year. But also Selling Sunset is just a delightfully bonkers reality show that it was thrilling to get into and then to watch everyone else get into it and have that be the thing we were all talking about this summer in August.
Sally: God, Selling Sunset has given us so much.
Rachel: It really has.
Sally: It really has, yeah. The group chat is definitely also one of my, if we were doing six transcendent experiences 2020, the group chat would be in there. Selling Sunset and Drag Race are two that I also really, really appreciate. I tend to get into things that have a lot of worldbuilding, where there's just like a really rich universe there, and Drag Race and Selling Sunset kind of have that. They kind of meet that requirement and I feel like they bring different kinds of entertainment and absorption, but they both succeed in absorbing you. And Drag Race has been a really big part of my relationship with my partner because when we got together, she was really into it and I'd never seen it. And she tried to get me into it and I couldn't really get into it, and then we watched this one specific episode of the second or third season and I became completely obsessed. And we've since seen a bunch of the queens perform live and we have Drag Race mugs, I got her an autographed picture of a queen for a birthday one year. We've fallen off in recent years, but it holds a very, very special place in my heart. And when you need comfort viewing, at least when we do, that's one of the first things we turn on is Drag Race.
Rachel: Yeah. Since I've been watching it, I've been reading about the history of drag and recognizing the role that... I mean, I'm not going to say anything profound here by being like "comedy helps people in dark times" but this specific type of comedy, which is sort of over the top in a cartoonish way. Or like, I look at this and I'm like, oh, I understand what clowns in the circus are meant to do by this over the top cartoon-like joyful humor. And I think just also the queerness of it is so special and so... there's just not a lot of things quite like drag, and Drag Race is like a well-oiled machine now that has spawned so many other really wonderful things. And so getting into any of the many forms of drag that you can now access on the internet, highly recommend it. But Drag Race is a really good place to start.
Sally: Yeah, absolutely. So there is a game called Queers in Love at the End of the World. It was created by Anna Anthropy and it's free. You can get it, we'll include a link on the show notes, but it's hardly even really a game. What it is is there's just words on the screen and you have ten seconds to click through and make some choices. And it's basically, you have... well, actually, let me read what the creator wrote of the work. "If you had only ten seconds left with your partner, what would you do with them? What would you say? It's a game about the transformative transcendent power of queer love and is dedicated to every queer I've loved, no matter how briefly or for how long." And basically what happens is you get some text on the screen that says 'Begin', you click 'Begin', and you have ten seconds till the end of the world. And you get to decide if you want to say something to your partner, if you just want to hold them, if you want to kiss them. And every choice you make obviously begets another choice, and you can't really get through that much before ten seconds is up. And it's just a really beautiful, sad, simple exploration of... I thought about how powerful it is to love someone and be loved back and what it means to think about how you would spend your last ten seconds on earth with them, which it feels really dark, but is also really lovely to me. And it really kind of reminds me of, we had this conversation over text, Rachel, about San Junipero, the episode of Black Mirror, which, we were kind of going back and forth with your girlfriend, or I was, about like, is it sad or is it happy, kind of? And I sort of feel like, if you're the kind of person who thinks a game about the last ten seconds you spend with the person you're in love with is happy, that it's happy, but there's a happy sadness or a sad happiness, just sort of thinking about what it's like to confront the end of everything, not alone, but with this person that you love and who loves you back. It's devastating, but also beautiful. Again, it's free. It takes ten seconds, but of course I recommend playing it repeatedly and clicking on all the different things and seeing how it ends each time. It's called Queers in Love at the End of the World, and we will link to it in the show notes, and it's beautiful.
Rachel: That sounds great. I'm cautiously excited about it. I'm like, is this going to bum me out? Is it going to be a bummer in the right way?
Sally: That's...
Rachel: I'm not quite sure.
Sally: That's the correct attitude. I would say only get into it when you're sure you can deal.
Rachel: Sally, I know it's my turn to go next, but I'm looking at what you have as your final one. And I think you should go next for reasons that will become obvious after you do yours and I do mine.
Sally: Okay, fair enough. Okay, so my last pick, or transcendent piece of media from 2020, is the book Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis, which was actually published in 2003. This is a short book, it's like 115 or 120 pages. You can actually read all of it online, it's in PDF form and I believe not illegally, I don't think it's pirating, I think it's meant to be accessible. It is a book that basically asks the question 'are prisons obsolete' and answers in ways that get you to think about how prisons and the way that we think about punishment and surveillance and discipline and criminalization are all sort of interwoven and related to each other, and also so deeply woven into the fabric of our country in material ways, but also in just cultural ways. One of her big points is that we can't even imagine a world without prisons because imprisonment and carceral punishment and carceral discipline is such an important part of just the American way of life, that it's challenging to even imagine a reality where we admit that prisons are obsolete and that the police are obsolete and that these things don't work and that they cause more harm than good. And one thing I love about reading Angela Davis or hearing her speak, she thinks in a way that as someone whose brain has been totally turned to mush by the last year slash the last five or six years, all I can say is mind explode emoji. That's the only thing I can think of that describes it. But she just thinks of things, like she has new thoughts. I don't know how she does it, but she imagines things that no one's ever imagined before. She's really brilliant. And she breaks it down here in a way that's just so straightforward. And she's sort of like, listen, you can't imagine what this would be like, because it's impossible to imagine our country any other way, but I'm going to walk you through why we must imagine this and why we must imagine this in a way that allows us to work towards it. So if you've been like noticing the conversations people are having about abolishing the police and abolishing prisons and stuff like that, and you're kind of looking for someone to like blow your mind and break it down, I would say Are Prisons Obsolete? is great because it's brilliant, and it's also 115 pages, which to me feels like a not too intimidating length.
Rachel: Yeah, definitely. I bought this this summer after you recommended it and just need to sit down and read it because I think 115 pages, my mushy brain can actually handle it.
Sally: Nice. Okay. So having said that, what is your last thing, Rachel?
Rachel: Okay, so mine is the Architectural Digest Youtube channel does a series called Open Door and it is basically celebrities giving tours of their homes. The first time I watched it, I thought it was going to be like, oh, these celebrities are chosen because they have really special Architectural Digest-esque homes, they're going to be super aspirational, they're going to be really well done and chic. That is actually not the case as far as I can tell. I think it's more about, which celebrities can we get? Who wants to do it? They're showing you their home whether or not it's an enviable home, and so these videos just cover a huge range of styles, of types of celebrities, there's athletes, there's actors, there's singers, there's a lot different types of people. And they're so fun to watch. I actually think we got into these after Selling Sunset because it was like, I need my over the top LA real estate fix, which these totally deliver on. I actually have a blog post as a draft that I need to publish, which is just my guide to the good, the bad and the ugly of these, because some are really beautiful and really well done. And then others, you're just like, oh, you have all the money in the world and this is how you chose to spend it? And it's infuriating, but the good kind of wanting to be mad. So yeah, every time there's a new one it's super exciting. We've watched probably almost all of the old ones, but it's one of those things where there's a huge back catalog to work through, which is really nice right now. And now new ones are coming out pretty much every week and every time there's a new one it's so exciting. If you watch a bunch, you'll also start to notice the tropes, which is like, every picture or, sorry, you'll start to notice the tropes like, many of the homes have black and white pictures of Marilyn Monroe, actually.
Sally: [Laughs] That's cool.
Rachel: You'd think that isn't a thing that you'd see outside of college dorm rooms, but celebrities love that. They love to talk about their art that they have on their walls and how they chose it. Just, celebrities are wild. And it's really, really interesting to hear them talk about how they decorated their homes.
Sally: It's kind of a grown-up version of Cribs.
Rachel: Yeah, it absolutely is.
Sally: Yeah. I just want to say that Selling Sunset, I feel like the homes that they're selling and touring and showing to people are kind of the background character, you know? You kind of feel like you don't see them enough.
Rachel: I agree.
Sally: Because they're focused on the people in the relationships, but you want to be like, wait, hold on, did I just really see that in this house? Is that really a thing? Is this a way someone lives? And so to get just that?
Rachel: Yeah.
Sally: Mwah, amazing.
Rachel: You also occasionally get, you know, the celebrity will have their spouse in it or even a sibling in some instances, and you'll get a peek into their relationships for better or for worse. Sometimes you're like, wow, I cannot believe you two hate each other this much. That's really, really remarkable. And you're just putting it out there for the whole world to see. Huh? Imagine that. Yeah. It's really wild. So we've watched a bunch of those this year. It's another one that when I think of what we've done in quarantine, I think of those house tours. They've been great. I think also a lot of us this year, being inside all the time, it makes you think about your home and how you want it to look, and so there's also that aspect of it that it is, in some instances it's genuinely inspiring. You're like, oh, that's really cool, I want something like that. I will say those are few and far between, but that's also a nice bonus of watching them.
Sally: Absolutely. Yeah, we've watched a couple, but I see us getting much more deeply into these.
Rachel: So our second segment today is going to be Five Stars, where we talk about something that we really love, but we're doing it end of the year edition. So we're going to talk about some of the recommendations we have for this year that again were transcendent things that we bought or tried, and that we highly wholeheartedly recommend. Sally, do you want to kick us off?
Sally: I would love to, you know how much I like to talk about life-changing hacks and products. So I'm very excited to tell the world about walnut shell cat litter.
Rachel: [Laughs]
Sally: I know that that's a string of words you didn't expect to see all together.
Rachel: It sure is.
Sally: So we got a cat about a year ago, actually. And the thing that I was most neurotic about was cat litter that he was going to like and respect, because as you may or may not know if cats are not into their litter situation, they act out in ways that involve their poop.
Rachel: Wow.
Sally: Yeah. So I wanted something that worked for him and also worked for us. I went through a couple of different kinds of litter. My friend Zara recommended it. It's made of crushed up walnut shells.
Rachel: Okay.
Sally: Now let me just say that first of all, it's much lighter than litter that's made of... I don't actually even know what litter is made of. Rocks? I don't know.
Rachel: It seems like gravel or something.
Sally: I think gravel, yeah. It's a lot lighter, It contains... listen, I'm going to get into talking about cat poop for a second. So just bear with me. It contains smells really well, it clumps together immediately, so you can scoop immediately. And it also just doesn't get real gross as quickly as other litter and between that and how light it is, like not having to lug huge bags of it up and down and changing the litter and having it be kind of a lot of effort, this cat litter has really changed my life. Now it is a little bit more expensive than other cat litters, but it also lasts a lot longer because you don't have to change it as often. And I'm a pretty compulsive litter changer. So I promise you that I am not a neglectful cat parent saying that. Anyway, walnut shell cat litter. I don't think there's a particular brand you need to get, but just if you have a cat get into it. My next transcendent purchase from this year are masks from Sock Fancy, which I take it sold socks before the pandemic and then pivoted to selling masks. I've tried a lot of masks, these are definitely my favorite. They have a pocket for a filter, they have a little clippy thing for over your nose, they have adjustable ear loops so you can loosen them or tighten them at will. They fit my face really well, they're very comfortable, and they're snug in all the right places, you know? Highly recommend them, Sock Fancy masks. My next two are not products, they're just kind of things that I think everyone's been doing for years, but I discovered in 2020. So I don't know if you know about this, Rachel, but Instagram stories.
Rachel: Heard of them [laughs]
Sally: They're a thing you can do where you post a thing, and it stays up for, I think 24 hours. They have a thing called a close friends list. Again, this is not a thing... when Instagram stories came out, I was like, I'm at an age where I can't learn another thing on this app, so it's just going to have to pass me by. It turns out that if you want to update -- so I've had a couple situations this year where I've wanted to keep a bunch of people posted about how I'm doing, but without having to text and call and FaceTime all the time. Turns out, you make a close friends list on Instagram, and stories are a perfect way to give people daily or weekly updates about a thing. So get into it. Instagram stories for life updates for your close friends. Mind blowing recommendation.
Rachel: [Laughs]
Sally: I know. My last one is something else that people might already know about, but totally blew my mind when I discovered it like two weeks ago, which is the Roku remote app, which I have on my iPhone. And first of all, it has a keyboard. So you don't have to do the whole thing where you're moving, and every time I search for something on my Roku TV, I think to myself, surely there's a better way to do this then navigating to each letter. There is! It's the Roku app, and it lets you use your keyboard to search for things. For some reason, the remote is really hard for me to keep my hands on, but because my phone is basically an extension of my body, when I'm using it as the remote, I never lose it. And it does all the things the remote does. I highly recommend it. You can turn the TV on and off with it. Real life hack for me.
Rachel: I started using it after you recommended it and it is great. And another thing that you can do is you can do voice search with it. So if you want to not have to type things in, you can take it to the next level and hit the little microphone button and then just say "search season 12 of Drag Race" and you can find it very easily. So that is another really great bonus. And yeah, I have to agree that it's a very good app.
Sally: Now that I'm getting into Instagram stories, I think maybe 2021 will be the year I get into searching for things by voice, which is not a thing, I never use Siri or anything, but maybe that's on the horizon.
Rachel: I don't either, but I do think it's helpful for searching for specific things within something like this. I have a Firestick I don't use very often, but one of the best things about it is that you can search by voice. It's so convenient. So, yeah.
Sally: I love that. Okay, so those are my, those are my top three rec. Rachel, what have you got?
Rachel: Okay, so my first one is one of those purchases that we made in January that really turned out to be a good one that we did not know would be so useful, and that is wooden TV trays that are the kind that, they're big, they're not like a lap desk, but they're a big thing that stands on the floor that collapses. I'll link to them if what I'm describing doesn't really make sense. But if you picture 1950s people eating a TV dinner in their living room, that kind of television tray.
Sally: Okay.
Rachel: So I was staying at my girlfriend's studio a lot, and it's a studio, it's very small. And I said like, oh, it might be nice to have this for if we want to sit and eat on the couch, have something to put our food on, or... I don't even remember exactly why. I think that was the main reason. But when we started staying there full time in the end of February, beginning of March, they became so helpful because they're collapsible ultimately, but they're also really lightweight so you can just move them around a lot. So it becomes a way to reset your space or create a table where you didn't have one before. So one of the things that we would do is at the end of the day, we would move a TV tray to the end of the bed and pull the computer monitor over to it, and that's where we would set up to watch Drag Race or all the other things that we were watching. So it became a little entertainment center, and you can just sort of use it in multiple ways. I did a bunch of distanced TV appearances this spring and summer, and so I could set one up wherever I wanted so the background was nice, and then put books on it to create a perfect little, you are well-framed so if you need to be on a Zoom call where you actually look really professional and good, you can move it anywhere. So it's little things like that. The flexibility was so helpful. I think we got the two for like $40 or $60. You can get them from any major, like a Walmart, a Wayfair, any big retailer usually sells them. Highly recommend.
Sally: That sounds awesome. We occasionally will eat while we watch a movie or something like that, and the distance between our mouths and the coffee table is just, it's not a thing. And I wonder if it's time for us to invest.
Rachel: Yeah. I think they're really helpful in ways that you don't totally expect but are, again, they're collapsible. They can fold under the couch, which is so nice when you're in an apartment.
Sally: I think I just gave the impression that the way we eat is by putting our entire face onto a plate. But whatever, that's fine.
Rachel: [Laughs] The more important thing is you gave the impression that you only rarely eat on the couch, which is really impressive. And I'm happy to hear that for you. I can't say the same about me.
Sally: I don't want to get into it, but it's a health seeking behavior that we had to make in 2020.
Rachel: I'm proud of you. That's a big one.
Sally: Thank you [laughs]
Rachel: Okay, next on my list is unscented taper candles. I am not going to get too into it here because I've talked about them before on the podcast and I've written like a 4,000 word blog post that I will link to, but basically lighting candles. Who knew? A lot of people, turns out, but that was one of my discoveries. It's like, oh, a thing that people have been into for a really long time, I have now discovered it for myself and think it's amazing. So if you haven't gotten into it yet, highly recommend it for 2021. I have a mask recommendation. Mine is the Bagu masks, which I've probably been using for the past three months or so. And they are great, they have a lot of the same qualities you were describing with the Sock Fancy ones, which is like a little nose wire, they have a spot for a filter, adjustable ear loops, cute patterns, really durable. I'm just such a fan. I've tried a lot of masks this year, and those ones have really risen to the top as some of the best.
Sally: I like the Bagu ones because -- I haven't bought them yet, but I always mean to. And the thing I really like about them is that they have a separate piece of fabric for where your nose goes. I mean, it's part of the mask, but when this whole thing -- this whole thing [laughs] When the pandemic first started, we got masks that were just sort of like a piece of cloth, and it turned out to like, it's like, do you want to cover your nose or do you want to cover the bottom of your mouth? Because you can't have both. And the masks that have a special spot for your nose are great.
Rachel: Yeah. And these actually have a special, they have a piece of fabric at the top and at the bottom, so you've got one to cradle your chin and one to go over your nose, which just feels way more secure. So that the part that's covering your nose and mouth is essentially really tucked in.
Sally: That's great.
Rachel: So yeah, I think you'd probably like them. And then the last recommendation I have is what I'm going to describe as house clogs, because multiple brands will work here. So this was another thing I was kind of getting into at the end of last year, which was, I asked my mom for some Crocs for Christmas. I don't know if you know this, Sally, but my mom is a real Crocs-head in a way that is pretty incredible. She can tell you, like, these Crocs are limited edition, they don't make them anymore, she had to look really hard for them. She has so many pairs of Crocs for all these different occasions. It's really wild.
Sally: We have to have your mom on the show for multiple reasons. One is for the Crocs.
Rachel: Yeah. She could be a Crocs influencer. It's really, really wild. Yeah. So I asked for a pair of fleecy lined ones because I was like, I need slippers, but I want something a little bit more durable than a soft slipper that's going to get gross. And I was also feeling like, oh, if I'm up doing a lot of chores, my knees and back are getting sore. I want something that feels supportive. So I got those. Great shoe for the beginning of the pandemic. I ended up getting a pair that's like an outdoor pair to slip on when I take my dog out and then an indoor pair, they're great chores shoes, you can get them wet or dirty, they're easily cleaned. So that kind of kicked things off, and then maybe in late spring, I got a pair of Calzuros, which are just like hot Crocs. They're just the next evolution of Crocs. They have a little bit of a higher heel, but they don't feel like you're wearing heels. They're beloved by nurses and by chefs. I have this blue marble pair that's so pretty. Again, I love these shoes so much, even more than Crocs actually. So I wore those all summer. Again, I love them so much I got an outdoor pair so that I could... this has nothing to do with a pandemic, I just like to not wear shoes in the house.
Sally: Yeah, yeah, same.
Rachel: So keeping these as slippers is great. And then since then I've gotten into, I got a pair of Danskos fairly recently, and then just for Christmas my girlfriend got me a pair of Birkenstocks that are the covered toe kinds. So, you know, I've come a long way since my first pair of Crocs last year. But ultimately it's just like, you've got to have shoes to wear indoors that are supportive, that have a grippy bottom because household injuries are no joke -- as a lover of safety, Sally. I know you'll appreciate this, and that are supportive for your knees and back and your whole body. So find your perfect house clogs, you won't regret it.
Sally: These are great. I had never heard of Calzuros, but I actually do recognize them as things that people who stand for really long time but need to be comfortable wear, and I totally could see myself getting into these.
Rachel: [Laughs]
Sally: Awesome. I mean, I think we did it. That's 2020 in a nutshell.
Rachel: Yeah. In a walnut shell.
Sally: In a Walnut shelled cat litter.
Rachel: Yep.
Sally: Now that we've done that, Rachel, let's talk about a nice thing to end on.
Rachel: Well, I have talked about this in the past, but I'm going to do one more reminder since you guys will be listening to this show on New Year's Eve potentially -- well, that's when it's airing. If you don't have any plans for tonight, or if you have a little extra time today, I highly recommend spending the last day of the year -- or later, do it this weekend. If you don't get to it -- making a list of all of the nice things that happened to you this year. It's something I've done in years past. At first you're going to be like, "Nothing good happened to me this year." You'd be surprised. Nothing is too small to put on the list. If you can't think of anything, look through your photos on your phone, look through your email, look through your calendar. You'll be reminded of all of the great shows that you watched or things you listened to, or just new friends you made or really positive experiences you've had. It just is so affirming, especially at the end of a bad year, more than ever, to be like, "Oh no, there were a lot of good things." It's sort of similar to making a gratitude list, but it's more celebrations versus things you're specifically grateful for. And I am not a fan of New Year's Eve. I think it's very overwhelming and stressful. And if you want to stay in, but still feel like you honored the holiday in some way, making a list of all of the wins from this year is my best recommendation.
Sally: I love that. It also feels like a less overwhelming task than things I have gratitude for because there's something... no shade to gratitude practices, I understand how important and great they are, but I think there are some times where it's hard to get in the mindset of feeling gratitude, even though technically you have things to be grateful for, but like a list of nice things that happened to you feels so much more within my reach.
Rachel: Yeah. Again, I can't stress enough that it is even more helpful to do this in a year that was bad. That's when I started doing this, in my worst years. And that was really helpful because it does sort of clear away that darkness, even for a minute, and remind you that you had some wins, even if they were really tiny.
Sally: Hell yeah. I love that. My nice thing to end on is a Spotify playlist called my life is a movie. It has about 50 songs and it has The Zombies, it has Tears for Fears, Cocteau Twins, Mazzy Star, Fleetwood Mac, Billy Joel, Crowded House. I mean, just a real melange of different artists. And the tagline for the playlist is 'every main character needs their soundtrack'. And it's just a bunch of quietly cinematic songs. We're often, I don't know if you guys relate to this Rachel, but whenever we put on music we're like, "What's a gentle thing we can put on?" I think we've been saying that since basically February, and this playlist isn't necessarily gentle per se, but it's light, there's a lightness to it. And nothing is too loud or too hard, and it kind of does make you feel like you're the main character in a movie and it's really fun, It's really evocative, it moves without being super intense. So I highly recommend it. A lot of the songs on it were familiar to me, but a lot of them weren't and the ones that weren't quickly became faves. So my life is a movie and we will link to it in the show notes.
Rachel: Great. I'm excited to check that out. Well, Sally, I think that does it for Oh I Like That 2020. We'll be back in 2021.
Sally: Rachel, I'm not going to say "I'll see you next year" because I'm not a dad, but I think you know that I want to say it.
Rachel: Yeah. You're saying it in your heart and I like that about you [laughs]
Sally: And also kind of with my voice.
Rachel: Yeah [laughs]
Sally: All right, so yeah. Thank you for listening to this episode of Oh I Like That. Please rate us and review us wherever you listen to podcasts, and thank you for spending this part of 2020 with us. It's been really awesome to get to know you all through your emails and your DMs. Please continue to get in touch with us.
Rachel: You can follow us on Twitter @ohilikethatpod, and you can email us at ohilikethatpod@gmail.com. You can also follow the two of us on Twitter. I'm @the_rewm and Sally is @sallyt.
Speaker 3: Oh I Like That is produced by Rachel and Sally and edited by Lucas. Amber Seger, aka rocketorca on social media, designed our logo.